About a year ago I found myself in a season of anguish.  I was burned-out on homeschooling and in so many other ways. I found myself no longer enjoying the expectations I placed on myself as a homeschooler and the pressures I was putting on my oldest children academically.  I knew that Jesus would lead me through the storm but it was not clear how.

Organizationally, RCA was in the same place: stretched thin and needing a life-line.  During this time, Melissa Trippeer sat in my living room, listened, encouraged, and reminded me that there are certain fruits that can only be cultivated in the darkness (Isaiah 45:3).  At the same time, I started talking and researching curriculums (because that is what you do as homeschoolers....a new curriculum will fix it, right?!).  I was looking for something that fit my expectations and that desires I harbored for my children. The Alveary curriculum intrigued me enough that Melissa and I drove 7 hours down to TN to observe a homeschool tutorial use the curriculum in action. There was something about our time that so clearly convincing.  I just knew this is what I wanted even if I was only beginning to understand the methodology behind it.  
 
I had always heard of Charlotte Mason but I assumed thought that Charlotte Mason educators were hippies that wore socks with individual toes and played in the woods.  Clearly, I had no idea… and so began my quest to learn as much as I could.  While I was down in TN, I marched right up to the Director of the Alveary, Dr. Shannon Whiteside, and said, “What is the difference between Charlotte Mason philosophy of education versus other styles?”  She said, “There are many differences but the biggest is our view of the teacher and student.  Charlotte Mason educators are freed by the thought that they do not have to know everything, teach everything, or convey hefty ideas to students.” (Talk about pressure and lots of time in teacher prepping!) “Ultimately, we trust really great authors to do the heavy lifting and we trust that the Holy Spirit as the best teacher.  The Spirit will lead the children to have a relationship with the material.  In this approach, the learning that occurs is way more impactful.”  Embarassingly, I looked at Dr. Whiteside and said, “Really? The Holy Spirit as teacher... I mean.... come on!  How can you trust that the students will learn everything they need to learn from the books we are reading.  Don’t they need someone telling them or at least asking them questions to MAKE SURE they understand the goal of each lesson?”  Dr. Whiteside said, "Who are you to tell them what they need to learn and get from any given reading or text?”  Oh boy.  She was right.  I was intrigued and had a lot to learn.  Even after being a Christian for over 25 years, I could not wrap my mind around trusting the Spirit as the primary teacher in my home education.  What does that look like practically?
 
In her 20 Principles, Charlotte Mason states, "We allow no separation to grow up between the intellectual and 'spiritual' life of children, but teach them that the Divine Spirit has constant access to their spirits, and is their Continual Helper in all the interests, duties, and joys of life.” After reading this I realized what my first step in understanding Charlotte Mason would be: Repentance.  

Regardless of what philosophy of education in which you steep yourself, I beg you to take one thing from Miss Mason.  At the end of the day, whether in your best efforts or when you fall short, know that the Holy Spirit is the Teacher.  Period.  Of course, I am not saying that you get a free pass and passively allow schooling to unfold because, well, the "Spirit" is going to do all of the heavy lifting.  No!  What this means is this: when you feel the pressures to do it all, or to do more because you feel like you are not doing enough – repent.  Repent that you put your hope in yourself to make your homeschool what it is and not trusting the living and active Continual Helper to meet you in your daily routines.  Repent that you feel like you must teach your children everything or that you think you know what they should take away from that really awesome book you are reading.  Repent.  Repent when you are scared that the standards you have set for yourself or your student are not meeting YOUR expectations.  Just repent.  
 
Repentance is the key to your homeschool.  It unleashes power that is beyond you and fills in the gaps.  In order to feel the freedom of what Miss Mason was getting at, you must learn to be the lead repenter in your home.  Repent to the Lord for taking on what is rightfully His to carry and repent to your children that your short-sightedness and fear have caused the overwhelming feelings that you both are experiencing.  
 
Oh Charlotte, how you are my soul sister.  You are leaning across the table to me and saying "true repentance, like all good things, is a gift from God” (2 Timothy 2:25).  So Beth, just repent and get out of the way because the Spirit has work to do.  
 
By now, you all know that our core values are Excellence, Service, and Celebration.  Faith, Love, and Prayer are not our core values, because they are assumed.  As Christians, they already undergird who we are. They are our foundation.  I long for RCA to become a place in which kids, mentors, leaders, and parents all are encouraged by God’s grace, challenged by God’s truth, and inspired by God’s world.  On our own, none of us is good enough.  But in Jesus, the Father embraces us.  On our own, RCA won’t be enough.  But in Jesus, our little organization can play an important role in the growth and maturation of young minds and hearts.  By God’s grace, we will learn to walk by faith and not by sight.  Lord, we believe, help our unbelief!  

Let’s continue to keep our eye on the one who supplies our faith – Jesus!